When Kewe returns to his own personality, does Jake exist outside of Kewe?
Kewe believes this person is Kewe’s astral personality. His astral body with its mind, its personality that goes along with the body.
Is this Kewe in his astral body?
This person is a young man.
This person has a deeper voice, speaks the same as a young person does in Earth reality.
At the time of Kewe writing the 2015 version of this book, Kewe is an old man. But he was a young man many years ago.
In his ethereal body, never viewing a mirror, as a young man he might be similar to how Jake looks.
He does not know how Jake looks because he is Jake when he is aware of Jake. Except for that brief moment when he was outside his body looking at Jake inside his physical body mentioned in the third chapter he has never seen himself as a manifestation of Jake.
His eyesight is also not clear when he is part of Jake. Kewe keeps trying to look through his physical eyes. He has not learnt to not do this.
So even if he saw himself as Jake in a mirror in Earth frequency, his vision is impaired enough that he would not be able to tell that which appears as bodily difference between Jake and himself.
When Kewe was young he believes he would speak with an effeminate voice at times, when he became nervous.
Kewe was never told this by anyone. But there was that one time, he remembers when returning from England.
He was flying to America via the East Coast.
A man with his wife were sitting in the seat nearby. The man asked him something and he had replied. The man had given him such a disgusted look. Kewe is empathic at times and he felt the wave of dislike strongly.
He had no idea why the man should react so. That which he had spoken, how could that have induced such loathing? Then, as often happens, the answer had come to him He knows you are attracted to men, not women!
Kewe had shrugged it off. He lived in Seattle and all the people he knew accepted him as he was. His ’gayness’ was not even mentioned, if, when, it was observed.
Jake, he believes, does not have this feature to Jake’s personality.
His astral body with its mind, its personality that goes along with the astral body, all of this is confusing to Kewe.
By 2015 he has become aware that the core part of himself might be female. Does the core part of one self identify itself to a particular sex?
Is not sex part of The Game?
All of this is confusing to Kewe!
Kewe wonders where else Jake roams in the inner worlds. He knows Jake visits a temple, because he has seen the temple vaguely. Jake is often involved in a conversation with a monk.
The flying of Jake’s, the vastness, the waves of light that flow in to and around him, the truth is Kewe doesn’t have a clue what is truth, what Jake sees, touches, what is a dream.
When a sneaking downer tells him nothing is real, he feels inclined to listen. “None of it is likely to be real,” he mutters to himself. Only, the inner wisdom insists Jake’s experiences are much more than Kewe thinks he imagines; that even in his wildest fancy there is a reality. That Kewe is Jake. That Jake is Kewe.
What about when Jake comes through him, talks to other people, in Jake’s voice!
It shocks them. This different young man’s voice. It doesn’t shock Kewe. He knows all that Jake is saying. He is Jake!
. . .
Weeks after Kewe’ smeeting with Lara, West, Sue and little Laranne, Katherine and David, Kewe begins to fall into a funk.
Doubts creep around him about what he is doing.
He stops his chanting the HU, his exercise as he calls it. Kewe goes to work, comes home, and like a human zombie watches TV.
Days blend into days. Feeling depressed, searching the closet one evening a video tape falls off the shelf. The tape he has himself labeled, ‘Angels.’
Kewe remembers taping the program. The TV program is starting just when he is about to go out for an evening walk.
He remembers thinking interesting to record.
Labeling the tape on his return from the walk, he’d placed it in the closet with other tapes.
He picks up the video tape that has fallen off the shelf, walks over places it into the video machine. One sister refers to voices that are comforting and kind, that she’s heard all her life. The other sister talks of a sense of a loving presence. A surrounding presence identified as angel energy.
One sister is saying her guide advised her to go to the computer and type messages to herself. It’s a piece of synergism. Two sisters speaking about contact they have with angels. The same thing David had said at the end of his meeting through Sue. He had completely forgotten the message.
He wants to laugh. Creative, he thinks in his funk. That would really be talking to himself. He fights the idea for days.
Using the computer he’d type any words that would make him feel better. It’d only be his needs, his desires, subconscious stuff that rises up. It didn’t make sense.
But, wasn’t this what David had suggested he should do? He’d been hot on the idea then. Why was he resisting? Why was he being so persistent in his resisting? That didn’t make sense either. It’s not laziness. Is it fear that stops him?
In the early hours of a lingering summer day, he boots up the computer. He’ll just try it.